It's a magical day when you hear your nine-year-old declare, "Well, That sucks" in a natural flowing conversation for the first time. Or when you get to hear your almost eight-year-old ask the nine-year-old, "Is that your thing? Game on, sucka!" as in relation to the way you like to get your groove on in the game of Minecraft. The pride you feel is immeasurable. (the italics represent sarcasm).
I laughed, but I also cringed a bit inside. I know how fast the time goes. In my mind, I immediately imagined the two of them in a few very short years saying nearly identical things to me in a much different tone: "Well Dad, you suck!" or "Really, Dad? Is that your thing? Yuck." My imagination is a scary little house of horrors. It can transform my happy, beautiful, funny children into attitude-filled, ugly teenage assholes faster than you can say, "Xanax?".
It's so weird to watch these tiny, amazing humans you brought into the world actually grow up and evolve into people. I'm amazed every day I'm responsible for these little creatures. I never had a sea monkey that lived, and I almost killed my plant, Lurch, a few times before the kids were born. So, when I tell people I think my kids are miracles, I really mean it.
Today's Grind is all about more amazing little goings-on in the world...mostly also of a jovial, positive vibe. Let's roll.
- "It is natural and normal to be physically lazy." Amen and hallelujah.
- No parent ever wants their child to eat alone at school. If only all athletes were this cool.
- And then there was one...we're down to the last Howard Johnson's Restaurant.
- It's back to school time. Thank me later for sharing some quick and clever lunch packing tips.
- "When I get excited about going out and genuinely look forward to it. And it’s all going well and it’s interesting and fun. And then suddenly, I want to be at home. In pajamas." Read an "An Open Letter To the Loudest Person in the Room."
- What motivates art collectors? Do they want to be thought of as people of superior taste? Are their collections simply for financial gain? This piece dives deep into the psyche of art collectors and how use art as a means to form and strengthen social bonds.
- Feeling stressed? Try some Goat Yoga.
- All flights should be equipped with the Southwest Looney Tunes guy:
- A single mom dressed up like a dude to take her son to Donuts with Dad.
- "12 Fictional Products and Companies That Exist in Real LIfe".
- Would you cherry-pick the parts of parenting you only wanted to do if you could afford it? A new documentary titled "Too Posh To Parent" delves into a world foreign to most of us where super-rich parents spend upwards of $250,000 on nannies, chauffeurs, professional potty trainers, music tutors and "Lego Therapists" to help raise their children. Yes, I said "Lego Therapists".