This past weekend, my family and I overdosed on "quality time" driving around in search of our next pair of outdated transportational pods on wheels. (Seriously, we were promised flying cars long before now!) I'm torn between cherishing the "quality time" locked in the car with the family traveling from place to place and the convenience of teleportation and just friggin' being there already. Imagine how much valuable time we could save if Hyperloop One or Mr. Scott's tractor beam were a reality. Why, my wife and I could decide against buying hundreds of cars in a single day as opposed to ruling out ten to twenty. As we drove, I thought about a lot of profound, life-altering things. Like:
- When in the hell did everyone buy a Subaru?
- Why do nose pickers believe they are invisible inside their car?
- That family looks like a genetic mutation study gone horribly wrong.
- Have I ever loved a bumper sticker enough to actually buy it and stick it on my car?
- Why are semis called Lorries in Europe?
- I wish I could jam all of my family's electronic devices with my mind.
- How much would you hate your job if you were the guy who had to scrape up road kill?
- I bet that guy has a body in his trunk.
- That lady looks like therapy isn't working.
- What kind of animal did that used to be?
My kids were bored...especially after their iPads died. (I may or may not have figured out that jamming ability one.) They even slept off and on a couple of times. If we were at home, I could shoot them at full gallop with a tranquilizer dart and they'd turn and laugh at me, "Silly Daddy, we're not tired!". (My son tells me he's not tired even as he falls asleep.) So, as I snatched glimpses of them in the rearview drifting in and out of consciousness, I was in wonder of the power of boredom. Don't get me wrong, we laughed, listened to music, played games only known to our family and we even gave them food for sustenance. But by midday, the lull of the road, the adult number crunching from the front seat and the slow motion manipulation of time to honey finally overtook them and the inevitable, "I'm Bored!" mantras began to echo from the backseat; which were quickly followed by the bobbing and jerking of heads as they fought with all their little might against their greatest rival of all: sleep.
And it was as they began to whine and nod off, I suddenly didn't want to 'just friggin' be there already'. I was happy stealing glimpses of them trapped in the backseat, a snapshot frozen in time for just a moment...of a moment we'll never have again. So, maybe...just maybe all those hacky, stupid "The journey is the destination" mantras I make fun of all the time are actually true. Maybe there's a reason we don't yet have flying cars, family affordable airfare, Hyperloop Ones or Scotty's Tractor Beams. Maybe transportation is our last unconconquered mountain. On the other side of it, yes we'd have the downslope to even more immediate gratification in a world seemingly more and more focused on getting what we want and getting it right now. But at what cost? Lost moments and quality time in exchange for a society full of people with ever increasing attention deficit disorders? Yuck and double yuck.
Eventually, the kids woke up. We played more music, laughed, sang, created more games, answered 4,096 questions and made our way back home. But as we pulled into the garage ten hours later, I found myself a little more than overwhelmed by one more thought. "Today was a very good day.". One of those days so good you relive later inside your mind....even though we never did find a car to buy.
It was a "2nd Day of Dad's Secret Formula Day" sort of day from the movie About Time. (If you don't know what that's a reference to, then shame on you and why are you reading my blog?)
Now, here are the stories I found most interesting while digging though the clutter of the internet this morning:
- GQ ranks every time Kate McKinnon was SNL's MVP this season.
- If you like HGTV, shows like Property Brothers and Fixer Upper, then you must check out Grand Design on Netflix. It's like a home design show on steroids and each episode takes years to film.
- I've been waiting for this movie for a long time. I remember being a kid in the backseat of my parents car watching my older brother plow through the pages of the Stephen King classic The Dark Tower. He had the special limited edition with the full color illustrations. And damn, was I jealous.
- Coke is pulling out all the stops to try and convince people to start buying soda again. And by "pulling out all the stops", I'm talking about Coke with Fiber.
- "Yes, I'll have some coffee on toast please." Don't you mean coffee and toast? "No, coffee on toast." Spreadable coffee is here. Hmmm.
- I think spreadable coffee sounds like a toddler's idea of an art project in the middle of my kitchen floor. But Coffee Beer sounds even less tasty than Zima.
- Get up have some coffee, some coffee toast, some coffee beer and if you have a real problem, end your day with some Coffee Wine. No doubt - yuck.
- Holy Shucking Fit! You're opening oysters wrong.
- Our world would be a much blander place without THIS...the single most important ingredient.
- Now, this is the best idea for coffee I've heard of in a long time - Black Insomnia Coffee has 300% more caffeine than your typical Starbucks. I hear angels singing above college dormitories everywhere.
- Heineken has succeeded where Pepsi failed miserably. Check out their new ad campaign taking on social and political matters in a unique way:
- Like inventions, eh? 19 Famous Things Invented in Canada.
- Innovative Award Winning Products from CES 2017 include a real universal remote compatible with over 25,000 electronics and a paintbrush which does not require paint or a canvas.
- Damn you, Procrastination! Another invention idea I lost out on due to my overwhelming laziness. Now, we can all sleep anywhere thanks to the Inflatable Hoodie.
- It's a breathalyzer but it doesn't tell you if you're drunk...it tells you how much fat you're burning.
- Chevy Ads with a real person:
...The Last Drop
I've been tying my shoes wrong.
The Daily Grind :: A 2nd Day of Dad's Secret Formula Kind of Day